haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize