I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
