oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
