butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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