My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
