i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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