UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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