Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
