She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
