I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
