I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
