he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
