It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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