im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
