I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Drunk is not a location!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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