I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drunk is not a location!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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