Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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