we have pet lesbian snakes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
