it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
