i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
that is very illegal...i love you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
