lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
