My nipple is on Facebook.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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