On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
