i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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