Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
