Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
