I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
