i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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