alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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