since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i dont even know how to be here
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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