"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
