I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
