hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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