And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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