My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
