the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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