at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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