No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
