I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
