My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
