I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize