i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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