Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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