I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He better not be in your backpack
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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