Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
