Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize