And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
