Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
