me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
