She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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