OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
