JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
