I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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