So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
