i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
