umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
