if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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