he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
