Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I will be naked everywhere
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
