just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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