Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
