Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
