after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
