People in love make me want to vomit
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
